I'm sorry 2013, but I am ready to see you out the door.
I feel like I unwittingly hopped on a roller coaster in January when we listed our house for sale, and it just now looks like the end of the ride might be in sight.
The first half of the year can basically be summed up with a stressful move out of our house, two failed IVF procedures, and Matt leaving his job of 5 years for what seemed like a promising new opportunity. And just for fun, let's also throw in Matt's long and painful case of the shingles in June.
By the end of the summer however, I was optimistic that life would finally settle down. We were in a new (to us) house that we loved and Matt was settling into and really happy with his new position. On the Friday before Labor Day he actually came home and told me that he hoped he would have this job forever.
And then not less than two hours later, he got a phone call from a co-worker telling him that the founder of his company had been arrested. He thought it was a joke at first, but it wasn't. And although the arrest was completely unrelated to the business, Matt immediately knew that the firm he had joined only five months before would most likely cease to exist by the end of the year because of it.
So much for life settling down.
During September, October and November, I watched Matt deal with extreme uncertainty over the future of his company and his career while juggling a full schedule of interviews and trying to figure out exactly what his next move would be.
Thankfully, by Thanksgiving he had been offered two great opportunities, and next week he starts yet another new job. The only downside is that after several years of working only 10 minutes from home, he will be back to commuting into New York City, which will be a big lifestyle change for our family. It means two hours on the train every day, leaving early in the morning and getting home just in time for the girls to go to bed. And so, like many of the rest of the events of 2013, this new job is bittersweet.
While Matt was dealing with this whole job fiasco, he had multiple people ask him how I was doing (someone even asked if I was "freaking out"). I suppose looming unemployment, especially when you've recently purchased a new home, could rightfully throw a person into a panic.
However, even during the most intense periods of uncertainty during the last few months, I can honestly say that I have felt oddly at peace... grateful even.
Part of it was gratitude for practical things: that we hadn't bought more house than we could afford, that we hadn't moved across the country for this job like we had seriously considered, that we had something saved for a rainy day.
But most of it was gratitude for the people in my life, and that despite the obstacles of the past year, it was still full of countless beautiful moments spent with them.
And today, on December 31st, I'm feeling a special kind of gratitude for new beginnings.